Mentoring Through Hardship

 

 

Chapter Eleven

Mentoring Through Hardship

Living in the heart of Buffalo, New York, U.S.A. can be like "trick or treat." It's a beautiful area near Niagara Falls with many attractive features. Buffalo is also a place of hardship as reflected by some dubious distinctions. Buffalo ranks in the top 10 cities in poverty, segregation and violence. If you are Mentoring anybody for an extended period of time, you will experience hardship. In a City like Buffalo, hardship may be magnified.

AID to MENTOR NAVIGATION Part 21

Tonight at our Youth Center (10-14-13) we talked about dreams. One young lady said she had previously wanted to be a mortician. She changed her mind when she found out that she would have to embalm children and babies. Seeing the bodies of children is hard. It's even harder to watch them die. Another young lady is studying Pre-Law in her second year of college. She hopes to maybe help young people avoid lives in jail. Better yet, maybe she can help some avoid a life that leads to violence and death.

As a Mentor, you may have to deal with the hardship of threats, violence and death. How will you handle the hardship of life and death? One Pastor closed his church after there was a gang murder in front of his church. Will you remove the Mentor shingle from the door of your heart when you face gut wrenching adversity? Do not walk the Mentoring journey alone! You will need support, especially in times of trial.

I once asked God to surround me with people who would help me. I asked for "Butterfly People" who would help me when I struggled. I asked for "Diamond People" who would help me when life was hard. I asked for "Pearl People" who would help me when I felt irritated. I reasoned that people would come and help me through the calamities and catastrophes of life. My prayer was answered antonymously (new word describing: an opposite way!).

I began to be surrounded by people who caused me to struggle. More people showed up who made life harder. Others began to become irritants of the highest (or lowest) order. I asked for support and I received a ton of hassle. Slowly I began to realize that the solution was to embrace brokenness as the way to wholeness. It was my job to struggle through to freedom from my cocoon of selfish thinking. It's my responsibility to turn the hard occasions of life into diamonds of wisdom that would help others. I wanted pearls and I received irritants!  I began to see how I needed to look inside myself to examine the source of irritation. It was up to me to cover the irritant with acceptance to create the pearl of understanding.

When looking for support, it is not wise to just look for someone to complain to. Look for positive, solution oriented, responsibility owning folks who will be truthful with their compassion and empathy.

AID to MENTOR NAVIGATION Part 22

Leadership is you (Mentors lead.) Leadership is what you want to teach. How can hardship become the vessel whose destination is leadership? Many leadership gurus can give you outlines of what true leadership is. From the standpoint of a Mentor, your task is to show how hardship can be a key to greater understanding and wisdom that will create more growth opportunities.

Here are some components to guide you in emulating leadership:

• A mountain trail is steeper at the top where the view is the best. The benefit of a challenging adversity is that it will reveal any weaknesses in your character. That revelation will lead to foundational repair in your nature. A hardship is a gift. The benefit of your gift is determined in how you invest it.
• Every hardship is part of the 4 seasons. The hardship may mean it's time to: Let Go (Fall.) Rest (Winter.) (Start over (Spring.) (Celebrate New Opportunity (Summer.) There is a reason for every season.
• NEVER GIVE UP! Letting go is not the same as giving up. Quitting is refusing to learn. Surrender, abandonment and rejection are cousins of slovenliness. Adversity can create chaos and disorganization. A football team on offense fights against 11 opponents who represent adversity (the defense.) The chaos of 11 people running, blocking or passing appears disorganized and yet the outcome is often victorious. Facing hardship head on will develop character.
• TAKE DOMINION! Take responsibility for your own actions. You alone rule your attitude.
• SEEK & FIND OWNERSHIP Finding fault points fingers of blame and erodes opportunity. Seeking responsibility and ownership creates new opportunities.
  True strength comes from seeing the solution to weakness within oneself.

 Thanks for your time. Go do something nice for somebody.