Directorship or Dictatorship

Chapter Nine

Directorship or Dictatorship

If your ship is sinking and you jump into the sea, several details will dictate your direction. You may not any have any choice if a shark shows up and swims alongside you in the water. You will be driven by the habits of the shark trying to digest you. A good Mentor/Teacher will present information like food on a plate. You would not force food down the throat of a guest for dinner - Do not force feed morals into young people!

AID to MENTOR NAVIGATION Part 17

Dentists have been telling us for years that proper dental hygiene is important. If we don't take care of our teeth by brushing and flossing, we could lose our teeth. The future of our pearly whites is dictated by our habits. The shark does not worry about losing teeth, they grow new teeth. If you lose the trust of young people, you may not be able to grow it back. Forcing your beliefs on anyone is a relationship destroying habit. Sharks do not own a tooth brush and for good reason; they have hundreds of teeth! Brush up on your Mentoring knowledge regarding conflict resolution. It may not work with a shark but it will help with children.

Some of the lifeboats on the Titanic were not filled to capacity. It was reported that the people already in the boats were more concerned with their own survival than saving anybody else. They wanted to push away from the sinking ship as quickly as possible to avoid being pulled down to a watery grave. Character under duress can be like a decaying tooth; the infection of self sets in at the peril of surrounding teeth. The infections of bad habits can become direction dictating contagions and contaminate others. Helping children to make the right decision through their own thought process requires patience. Teaching children to put others first requires the patience of planting and letting go. You are a Heart Farmer, drop the seed of good character into a young persons heart and let go.

During our Youth With A Purpose Leadership Camps, we sometimes see conflict among the participants. We try not to enforce the rules; we try and guide the campers into compliance. (Exceptions to this rule are made for life threatening actions!) You may not see the fruits of your patience for a long time (or ever!) Many children wake up one day in their 30's and think: "Now I understand what my Teacher was talking about!"

 AID to MENTOR NAVIGATION Part 18

One of the dumbest and most hypocritical statements I have ever heard is: "Do as I say not as I do!" Imagine a shark saying: "You really shouldn't bite people!" (As he dines on your neighbor!) If you have some habits that you would not like the person you are Mentoring to develop: STOP! Children do what they see you do, your words cannot change your actions.

Acting in a manner that is contrary to your words is like "involuntary dictatorship." Your hypocrisy will dictate the direction that a young person will go. Immature reasoning will suggest that bad habits are okay because "everybody is doing it!" If you have some bad habits - CHANGE THEM!

Here is a prescription that will help heal a bad habit.

• Examine yourself thoroughly; is there something you do that you would not want someone else to do?  Do you walk in a way that you would be proud to have others follow?
• Make a list of your bad habits.
• Resolve (relentlessly) to remove your bad habits.
• Write down your bad habits and LOOK AT THEM!
• After you select which bad habits you want to change, (only select one or two at a time,) place the WRITTEN action that you will take in a conspicuous place.
• Set a time frame of at least 30 days that you will not participate in your bad habits. Do not allow yourself to slide even once because that will open up the door to further slovenliness of character.

Several years ago I was in a church called The Tabernacle on a Sunday night. I listened to Peter J. Daniels tell a story about changing habits. His bad habit was leaving his pajamas on the bathroom floor every morning. That may not seem like a big deal but his wife was the one who had to pick them up. He felt bad; he was disrespecting his wife through his own laziness. He made up his mind to change his bad habit. He decided that for 30 days, he would pick up his own pajamas. One day a few weeks later, he arrived at his office after a 45 minute drive. He remembered that he had forgotten to pick up his pajamas. He drove 45 minutes back home to pick them up. His wife was surprised and said: "Honey you could have called me and I would have picked them up for you." Here was his reply: "If I had allowed myself the permission to fall back into my old habits just once, I am unconsciously giving myself permission to do it again. That will open the door to further "fallbacks."

Make up your mind that your habits will not dictate bad directions for the young people you Mentor. Be the best you can be and become better than your best everyday! Be brutally honest with yourself in personally examining your habits. Invite those closest to you to help with accountability. Become what you teach before you teach it.