Sad Dad's

I was blessed with 3 Fathers. My biological Dad died before I was born. The Dad who raised me left a positive mark of unconditional love etched upon my heart. My Father in heaven is the creator of all fathers and mothers. I was never abused by anyone close to me. I know many folks who were abused by people whom they should have had loving and trusting relationships with. Abuse of any kind: sexual, emotional, physical or verbal is a seed that sows resentment in your heart.

"Have your ill feelings of resentment

towards your abuser

become your idol?"

She was only a child when she was molested by a stranger. Her Dad wasn't around to protect her and she hurt. She felt dirty, it was like the molester smeared her innocence with dirt. She felt hurt and dirty. The years went by and the dirty hurt grew heavier. She was unable to cleanse her heart so she reasoned that maybe she was the dirty girl who deserved to be treated dirty. She began to do dirty things and invite more dirt into her heart. She had been an innocent victim whose shame and inability to find healing caused her to become a victimizer. She became the victim all over again and invited others to share in her victimization.

Parts of that story are repeated in the lives of 1 out of every 3 girls and 1 out of every 5 boys before the age of 18, according to national statistics. Many people do not tell anyone what happened to them, so it's probably much worse than that. Victims feel ashamed, embarrassed and somehow responsible. YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE! There is goodness in life and YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR OWN HEALING! You may have been abused, abandoned, rejected or devalued, you have the free will that chooses how you will process the dirt. Will you turn the dirt on your soul into soil for your heart to grow love? If you don't, it's quite possible for your heart to grow cold and unfeeling. Fear is the opposite of love. The people who hurt you were full of fear and their hearts have become hardened. Healing for you is as near as your shadow in the sun light.

 Here are 10 keys to finding healing:

1. Admit the reality of what happened to you.
2. Adopt a philosophy that says: "I don't have to be what happened to me."
3. Believe that you are worthy of unconditional love.
4. Become a dispenser of grace, sow seeds of healing.
5. Choose to be more than a survivor - you are more than a conqueror.
6. Channel pure and positive thoughts into your mind - renew your mind.
7. Decide to leave the past behind as mulch for your future growth.
8. Decorate the walls of your heart with the newness of a reborn life.
9. Educate yourself in the school of healing thinking.
10. Elect Jesus as Lord over your healing process. He will never leave you or forsake you.

 The person who hurt you had a hardened heart. It's possible that is was your Dad, Mom or someone close to you. Stop looking for answers from them. They might be dead or alive, spiritually dead or spiritually alive. You will not find healing looking for answers from them. They were blinded by the sin that was perpetrated upon their own heart and it caused them to blindly inflict you with the pain they carried. Healing is a struggle. It's a constant cocoon-like struggle. The fluid of acceptance of what happened to you, will help free you from that cocoon. The fluid of acceptance, when forced into the wings of your soul,  will give lift to wings of freedom from guilt and shame that you struggle with.  Stop throwing salt on your emotional wound by asking unanswerable questions that add to your resentment. Imagine yourself as a tree in the dead of winter looking forward to spring and the healing warmth it will bring.

"Once upon a time, there was a Mom wrapped so deeply in the sin of adultery that she dragged her daughter into shame. A man spoke truth to her and told her to stop her adulterous ways. She refused  and conceived a plan to kill the man who was speaking words of accountability. The mom decided to use her daughters unique, God given talent as a tool of darkness. The daughter danced for her Mom's partner in adultery and he was overwhelmed by her talent. As a reward for her beautiful talent, the adulterer promised the young girl that she could have anything that she desired. The girl didn't ask for a doll or money or anything else that a child might ask for, she asks for the head of the man who told the truth. Her mother had instructed her to ask for the man who held her Mom accountable to be killed. She wants the mans head cut off and put on a platter. The daughter does exactly as her mom has guided her. The mom's sex partner orders  the voice of accountability to be decapitated. Truth is silenced as the bloody head is served up to the daughter on a platter. The daughter shares her dark reward with her mother. The voice of truth is silenced by the blindness of a hardened heart." 
(This is my paraphrase of a story from Matthew 14 in the Bible.)

• I wonder how many people were tainted that day? 

• I wonder if the daughter became a mom who guided her children the same way? 

• I wonder if the mom had other children she used in shameful ways? 

• I wonder who would seek healing from the depravity of sexual sins that were impregnated into each successive generation?
• I wonder how many dads and moms are silent regarding their children's hurting hearts?
• I wonder what kind of a dad an adulterer and murderer would be?

Do not reject the healing that is just waiting for your belief.

"32 If you reject the Son of Man out of some misunderstanding, the Holy Spirit can forgive you, but when you reject the Holy Spirit, you're sawing off the branch on which you're sitting, severing by your own perversity all connection with the One who forgives.

33 "If you grow a healthy tree, you'll pick healthy fruit. If you grow a diseased tree, you'll pick worm-eaten fruit. The fruit tells you about the tree.

34 "You have minds like a snake pit! How do you suppose what you say is worth anything when you are so foul-minded? It's your heart, not the dictionary, that gives meaning to your words.

35 A good person produces good deeds and words season after season. An evil person is a blight on the orchard."

 Matthew 12:32-35 The Message

 

Today's Wise Saying is from Proverbs 23:22-25

Proverbs 23:22-25

New International Version (NIV)

Saying 17

²² Listen to your father, who gave you life,
    and do not despise your mother when she is old.
²³ Buy the truth and do not sell it—
    wisdom, instruction and insight as well.
²⁴ The father of a righteous child has great joy;
    a man who fathers a wise son rejoices in him.
²⁵ May your father and mother rejoice;
    may she who gave you birth be joyful!

Proverbs 23:22-25

The Message (MSG)

Buy Wisdom, Education, Insight

16

^22-25 Listen with respect to the father who raised you,
    and when your mother grows old, don’t neglect her.
Buy truth—don’t sell it for love or money;
    buy wisdom, buy education, buy insight.
Parents rejoice when their children turn out well;
    wise children become proud parents.
So make your father happy!
    Make your mother proud!

Proverbs 23:22-25

Amplified Bible (AMP)

²² Hearken to your father, who begot you, and despise not your mother when she is old.

²³ Buy the truth and sell it not; not only that, but also get discernment and judgment, instruction and understanding.

²⁴ The father of the [uncompromisingly] righteous (the upright, in right standing with God) shall greatly rejoice, and he who becomes the father of a wise child shall have joy in him.

²⁵ Let your father and your mother be glad, and let her who bore you rejoice.

Proverbs 23:22-25

King James Version (KJV)

²² Hearken unto thy father that begat thee, and despise not thy mother when she is old.
²³ Buy the truth, and sell it not; also wisdom, and instruction, and understanding.
²⁴ The father of the righteous shall greatly rejoice: and he that begetteth a wise child shall have joy of him.
²⁵ Thy father and thy mother shall be glad, and she that bare thee shall rejoice.

We all yearn for the love of our fathers. We want their respect and we try and earn it. When someone is ignored by their dad, it's sad. Many sad things create sore spots that hurt us and other people. Let their be peace in your heart, stop searching for answers. Seek the pattern of the Tabernacle; gratitude, obedience, sacrifice, and cleansing. Enter into God's Presence where His healing is unconditional and eternal.

Heart-Storming Challenge:

• What is the surest way to stop generational sin?
• Have you forgiven yourself?
• What helps you to stop asking questions about someone's spiritual deadness? Seek God.

Thanks for your time. Go do something nice for somebody.

Jesus loves you and so do we.

Home of the Homeless

 6-4-11
 10:24 PM
 

This is the "home" of a homeless person

who lives under a thruway overpass.

Saturday was a very harrowing day as we dealt with murder. The Dad of a YWAP Staff member was shot as he sat fixing his granddaughters pink bike. He was an innocent bystander. A Father died after being hit with a stray bullet from a gun in the hands of an angry young man.  On Sunday we went to court and found out we would have to post bail for the innocent girl. We did not have bail so we found a Bondsman who gave us the full afternoon to raise the needed capital for his fee.The whole weekend I cried a lot, each murder of someone close to you hurts worse than the previous death. We have dealt with many killings in the last ten years here in Buffalo. 

The sidewalk below the homeless persons "home"

is strewn with glass from broken bottles that

 used to contain beer, wine and whiskey.

On Monday, I wanted to take a few hours to recharge before I went back to assist the family of the innocent man who died. I went for a run. Before I had covered one mile, I saw three men wearing only shorts, they were  shoe-less and shirtless, yelling at each other. They were standing underneath a viaduct with broken beer bottles littering the sidewalk. The combatants were at the end of a bottle throwing battle and now continued with a verbal assault. They were all very drunk.

          Two of the homeless men lived on one side of the street. The other homeless man lived diagonally in a separate viaduct across the street. It was not a beautiful day in the neighborhood. The two men went back to their side as I approached. I asked the first man what the problem was as the other men continued to scream that I should call the Police regarding their neighbor. One of the men then came toward us and the man I was talking to ran into the street narrowly missing oncoming traffic. Realizing that he could get hurt or cause an accident, I called the Police. A Patrol car arrived and I think I detected a slight smile as the Officer got out of his car and walked toward us. He said that they were getting way too many calls and if this behavior continued he would have to evict them. I think it was a regular routine for him, he smiled and left. I stayed to talk to the men.

 

Personal possessions and a few pieces of food

 are stashed in a corner.

        The single man told me that his neighbors had stolen seven dollars from his pocket as he slept. I then told him that God had a plan for his life but he would never use the gift that God had given him if he continued to live the way he was living. We prayed as he grabbed my hand and squeezed it until I hurt. He then turned around and headed up to his living quarters under the bridge. He was crying and looked almost like a sad puppy dog after being scolded, his self esteem was gone. I hurt for him.

          I walked down to where the other men were. The shorter of the two kept saying: "God bless you." He also told me several times that he had a Bible up in his "home." He said he had lived there for five years. He tried to keep his friend away from me. I think he was comfortable in his captivity in a bottle of alcohol. His friend walked up and glared at me. I launched into the same speech that I had given the first man. I told him that God had a plan for his life. His gaze began to soften as the Holy Spirit worked on him. I declared: "demon alcohol be gone in Jesus Name." I said it several times as his friend tried to divert his attention. I spoke to his heart and told him that he was healed in Jesus Name. He finally and tearfully walked away and headed up to his "home."

          You might think I'm a fruitcake after reading that story. I'm okay with that. The truth is, I cared for those men and I could feel their pain and embarrassment. Imagine what it would be like if you sank that low. Even if you said to yourself: "Today I'm going to get up and look for a job" who would

The homeless men live in

 the shadow of the Cross.

hire you? Dirty, smelly, unshaven, unkempt, fearful, ashamed and beaten, how do you even begin unless somebody pours love on you. There is a Bright Spot here because I will continue to pray and I believe you will pray also. Here's a quote taken from The Message:

  "Take this most seriously: A yes on earth is yes in heaven; a no on earth is no in heaven. What you say to one another is eternal. I mean this. When two of you get together on anything at all on earth and make a prayer of it, my Father in heaven goes into action. And when two or three of you are together because of me, you can be sure that I'll be there." Matthew 18:18-20 

Dear God, I ask that those homeless men find a home in You. Amen

Today's Wise Saying is taken from Proverbs 23:19-21

 

Proverbs 23:19-21

New International Version (NIV)

Saying 16

¹⁹ Listen, my son, and be wise,
    and set your heart on the right path:
²⁰ Do not join those who drink too much wine
    or gorge themselves on meat,
²¹ for drunkards and gluttons become poor,
    and drowsiness clothes them in rags.

Proverbs 23:19-21

The Message (MSG)

15

^19-21 Oh listen, dear child—become wise;
    point your life in the right direction.
Don’t drink too much wine and get drunk;
    don’t eat too much food and get fat.
Drunks and gluttons will end up on skid row,
    in a stupor and dressed in rags.

Proverbs 23:19-21

Amplified Bible (AMP)

¹⁹ Hear, my son, and be wise, and direct your mind in the way [of the Lord].

²⁰ Do not associate with winebibbers; be not among them nor among gluttonous eaters of meat,

²¹ For the drunkard and the glutton shall come to poverty, and drowsiness shall clothe a man with rags.

Proverbs 23:19-21

King James Version (KJV)

¹⁹ Hear thou, my son, and be wise, and guide thine heart in the way.
²⁰ Be not among winebibbers; among riotous eaters of flesh:
²¹ For the drunkard and the glutton shall come to poverty: and drowsiness shall clothe a man with rags.

Any form of addiction is a mask that hides fear.

Heart - Storming Challenge:

• How do you deal with low self esteem?
• How do you help someone who does not feel valued?
• How do you provide a spiritual home for the homeless?

Thanks for your time. Go do something nice for somebody.

Jesus loves you and so do we.

The Day I Found Dirt in my Soul

Dad and Michelle at Brownie Scout Costume party.

Dad was running for Elma Town Supervisor.

Dad was dressed as Elvis wearing political shirt that said:

"Vote for Elma Town Supervisor Robert M. Kuebler."

Dad didn't win the election but he didn't care, because he's got Michelle.

Both opponents agreed that here would be no negative campaigning. I was elated, we could spend our time discussing issues and ideas that would help make our community a better place. I abhorred the negativity of political campaigns and I wanted to distance myself as far as possible from that type of behavior. My focus was on being positive, at least that's what I thought. Sometimes our best intentions are skewered by hidden pride.

 We were running for Elma Town Supervisor. I had always told people that I was not a very political guy. As proof of that, I was a registered Republican asked by the Democrats to run for Elma Town Supervisor. I realized I was staring defeat in the face from the beginning. This was a Town with a very heavy Republican enrollment, a large number of senior citizens, low taxes and a fairly popular Republican incumbent. Why would I bother to run against her? I was President of the Iroquois School Board at the time and I thought we could do more for kids. My platform, so to speak, was based on issues related to children.

"I thought we could discuss issues related to children."

At one election event, I was introduced to  Democratic Party Leaders which included some high ranking County Officials. I was asked if I would give out jobs to Democrats if I was elected. I replied that I would give jobs to people who were qualified for the job. They did not like that answer, so they asked another question similar to the first. They asked if both people were equally qualified, would I favor the Democrat. I said no, there is usually someone who needs the job more than the next person because of life pressures. I told them if both people were equally qualified and equally needy, I would flip a coin - I would play no favorites. There no standing ovations that day. When it was over, the Democratic Chairman in charge of my campaign quit. He said that if I would not offer jobs to people who worked on my campaign, then nobody would work on my campaign and then he was gone.

Riding in a Cadillac with my daughter Michelle

while throwing candy to the folks watching the parade.

This was the kick off to election season.

The political  experts who knew how to campaign told me to do some "door to door" campaigning. Most people seemed to form an opinion about me before I even opened my mouth. This made me very uncomfortable although we met some nice folks along the way. Sometimes I took my daughter Michelle who I call Beauty. They were always nice to her. One day, we visited a lama farm and the owner was a kind woman who invited us out to the barn to see the lamas. I was overjoyed, lamas would be a welcome relief from all of this campaigning stuff. We walked into the barn and the woman walked into a corralled area containing lamas. She said you could get them to kiss you and she puckered up to demonstrate and the lama obliged her by doing its own puckering and they kissed. She urged me to try it. I puckered up and the lama promptly stuck out its tongue as it blew air through its lips and backed away from me. It was the ultimate rejection. Here I was; a politician who hadn't kissed a baby and I was rejected by a lama!

"Here I was; a politician who hadn't kissed a baby

and I was rejected by a lama!"

My opponent and I debated several times. Most folks seemed to think I did fairly well, although there was nothing to suggest that I'd influenced enough votes to change my status as an underdog. Election Day came and there were some very strange things that happened that I still don't understand. It is possible to sabotage the political process in very subtle ways. I don't think anything that was done really changed the outcome. The Town of Elma was in pretty decent shape and did not need a major over haul. I lost the election by a large margin and it was over. Even though I knew I was an underdog, I still hurt with disappointment. In any election, it is very easy to portray any negative traits or opinions regarding your opponent as fodder for gossip. I thought I was above that.

The week after the Election, I went to our weekly Men's Bible Study at the Elma United Methodist Church. The Rev. Dr. Peter LeValley was the Pastor back in those days. I remember walking into the Church in a sullen and somber mood. He smiled and said that the people just knew my opponent better and name recognition was a major factor in any election. Before I could stop the words from coming out of my mouth, I blurted out: "If they really knew her, they wouldn't have voted for her!" I feel the filth of those words even now many years later. The realization that I had become what I detested hit me immediately like a blast of filthy sewage. Wallowing in my own self pity, I took a shot at another person's character. I had allowed myself to be tainted by the creature that I had so desperately sought to distance my self from. Pride, haughtiness, arrogance and judgementalism had crept into my soul. What I thought was an impregnable strength in my character had become a revolting and repulsive weakness. Tears formed in my eyes and began to roll down my face. I felt like a dirt bag.

Elma United Methodist Church was a place of heart and soul cleansing.

I learned a lot from that mixed up episode in my life. I learned that cracks in the foundation of our character can weaken our strengths if we don't spend time guarding them from erosion. I have no desire to enter in to the political arena again. However, God has a way of rerouting our well laid life plans. I will go where He sends me. I am a country boy at heart who is more comfortable in the forests and mountains. The last 10 years of my life have been spent in the heart of a City called Buffalo, New York. I have been blessed with the opportunity to take young people from the streets of Buffalo into the wilderness and help them prepare to climb the mountains of life. I will go wherever God wants me to go. "Here am I send me!" (Isaiah 6:8)

The only election I'm sure of is electing Jesus in my heart.

  Today's Wise Saying is from Proverbs 23:17-18.

Proverbs 23:17-18

New International Version (NIV)

Saying 15

¹⁷ Do not let your heart envy sinners,
    but always be zealous for the fear of the Lord.
¹⁸ There is surely a future hope for you,
    and your hope will not be cut off.

Proverbs 23:17-18

The Message (MSG)

14

^17-18 Don’t for a minute envy careless rebels;
    soak yourself in the Fear-of-God—
That’s where your future lies.
    Then you won’t be left with an armload of nothing.

Proverbs 23:17-18

Amplified Bible (AMP)

¹⁷ Let not your heart envy sinners, but continue in the reverent and worshipful fear of the Lord all the day long.

¹⁸ For surely there is a latter end [a future and a reward], and your hope and expectation shall not be cut off.

Proverbs 23:17-18

King James Version (KJV)

¹⁷ Let not thine heart envy sinners: but be thou in the fear of the Lord all the day long.
¹⁸ For surely there is an end; and thine expectation shall not be cut off.

I was looking through my High School Code of Conduct from St. Francis HS. this morning. I saw that we would repeat the Prayer of St. Francis every morning. I think that prayer would be good as a mantra for anyone seeking political office or just trying to live in a neighborly way.

 Heart-Storming Challenge:

• How do you guard your strengths?
• When have you been humbled by the Holy Spirit?
• How do you teach what you have learned?

Thanks for your time. Go do something nice foe somebody.

Jesus loves you and so do we.

DO NOT LEAVE THE HOSE!

A campfire is enjoyable when the smoke is not in your eyes.

The Fire Tower was filled with smoke so thick that you couldn't see anything - not even a hand in front of your face. Through the open door, two firefighters clad in full turnout gear, would guide a fully charged, two and a half inch fire hose into the smoky blackness. This was a fire drill created to provide life saving preparation in the event of a structure fire where lives were endangered. The rules in the smoke filled building were quite simple:

 "DO NOT LEAVE THE HOSE!"

I was ready to go into the darkness as the second man on the line with another guy holding the nozzle of the hose. We both donned our air masks which pretty much cut off any form of verbal communication. We then picked up our fire hose and stepped into the smoke. As soon as the door was closed, all light disappeared. You were left without sight and the muffled sound of your own breathing and the beating of your heart. You could feel heat and your sweat began to flow like a swollen spring creek. As we walked the first few feet, it was easy to sense or feel the presence of the other guy on the line. You knew the rules: "DON'T LEAVE THE HOSE!"

Fire can create sparks of fear in your imagination.

Separation was inevitable, although it came quite unexpectedly. The steps of two people are generally made at different speeds so there will be a "parting of the ways" so to speak. I was not ready for the manner in which we would split up. I'm not exactly sure when I realized that my partner was no longer in front of me. I reached out and felt nothing. I expected my hand to land on his shoulder when I grabbed smoke instead. My partner was not there. I tried screaming his name through my air mask and my outcry was only a holler in my own ears. I still had one hand on the hose and I knew I must maintain contact with that hose. Suddenly my foot struck something and the sparks of fear in my mind provided kindling for a fire of  anxiety in my gut. I reached down with my heavy canvass glove and thought I felt a body. I tried moving the body with one hand as I grasped the hose and screamed the man's name. There was no movement, there was no sound.

I took the hose and straddled it with my legs to maintain contact with my life line. I tried grabbing the body with both hands. It was hard to feel with those big heavy gloves. I couldn't budge the body. I finally decided to go for help. All of this happened in a few short minutes. I followed the hose to the end and was able to find where it went out through the door. I opened the door and burst out with adrenalized anxiety, ready to implore others into life saving action for my friend and partner. I looked up and saw my partner. My voice started to quiver and it rose as I angrily spoke. "What the heck are you doing out here? Didn't you know I thought you were hurt or dead? I thought you were laying on the floor in the smoke!" He said he just followed the hose out and thought I was behind him. When he realized I wasn't behind him, he did not follow the hose back and look for me.  He left me alone on the hose and just figured I would be okay.

"What I thought was an injured or dead person 

was actually a couch."

I felt foolish. My heart was in the right place in trying to save a life. We both followed the instructions that we were given: "DO NOT LEAVE THE HOSE!" What went wrong? My partner stayed on the hose and left me. Was I too slow? The only new wisdom I can glean from this experience is:

 "COMMUNICATE MORE CLEARLY

 BEFORE THE SMOKE COMES!"

My heart says that I should never leave another human being in a life or death situation. I will only leave as the last course of action to go and get help. I will only go into a burning building with like minded (or heart-minded) folks!

Today's Wise Saying is taken from Proverbs  23:15-16

Proverbs 23:15-16

New International Version (NIV)

Saying 14

¹⁵ My son, if your heart is wise,
    then my heart will be glad indeed;
¹⁶ my inmost being will rejoice
    when your lips speak what is right.

Proverbs 23:15-16

The Message (MSG)

13

^15-16 Dear child, if you become wise,
    I’ll be one happy parent.
My heart will dance and sing
    to the tuneful truth you’ll speak.

Proverbs 23:15-16

Amplified Bible (AMP)

¹⁵ My son, if your heart is wise, my heart will be glad, even mine;

¹⁶ Yes, my heart will rejoice when your lips speak right things.

Proverbs 23:15-16

King James Version (KJV)

¹⁵ My son, if thine heart be wise, my heart shall rejoice, even mine.
¹⁶ Yea, my reins shall rejoice, when thy lips speak right things.

Speaking the right thing is not always speaking kind sounding words. We cannot grow without conflict, that's a principle of life. The farmer conflicts the ground with a spade before he plants a seed. The muscle needs conflict before it becomes able to bear more weight. Butterflies have a conflict with their cocoon. You need conflict to grow a bigger heart. Through brokenness we are given a greater capacity to love.

• Is your heart a well overflowing with wisdom?
• Do you welcome conflict?
• Who are your closest friends? Are they "butterfly people" who will help you when you struggle? Are they "diamond people" who will help you when life is hard and full of stress? Are they "pearl people" who will turn you into a jewel when you irritate them?  

Thanks for your time. Go do something nice for somebody.

Jesus loves you and so do we.

 

The F Word and Love

Throwing a young person out of the gym will never make a highlight film. The gym at Holy Cross run by Youth With A Purpose does get quite crowded. Adrenalin surges and excited tempers can combine and cause emotional explosions. The gym is in an

Watch closely, fast action can blur your vision.

A crowded gym is a great place to teach character.

old Catholic school with short sidelines and low ceilings. It was built for younger, much smaller children. Everything seems to be compressed, including the young people who are  desperate to feel esteemed and accepted.  A fatherless generation is not big on respect and discipline, so we have to teach those character traits to maintain order. Sometimes we have to politely ask an impolite youngster to leave.  

 

 The rules are pretty simple: 

1. NO FIGHTING, no play fighting, no fake fighting - 

NO FIGHTING OF ANY KIND!

2. NO FOUL LANGUAGE, no cursing, no trash talking, no negative talking. 

NO NEGATIVE TALKING OF ANY KIND!

The penalties for breaking these rules are fairly simple: If you fight, you are thrown out for a week. If you curse after you have been warned, you are thrown out for a day. We hardly ever have to throw a kid out but it happens; I hate it and it's necessary. One night I chased a young man out of the gym and nearly 2 blocks down the street. Jeffrey was cursing repeatedly and I asked him to leave. When he refused to leave, I started walking toward the light switch. This was a ploy I had learned many years earlier. It was useless to threaten someone verbally but everyone recognized the power of the

Negative words deflate people.

"Positive words only are spoken,

negative words make people feel broken."

light switch: Once the lights were off, the gym was closed for the evening and all games would stop. Jeffrey's friends began urging him to just cool down and leave for the day, they wanted to keep playing ball. Jeffrey's anger seemed to escalate and he started cursing more vociferously. I told him that if he didn't leave for the day that he would be gone for a week. He said: "F YOU!" and headed for the door. 

With every "F YOU!" bomb that Jeff threw at me, I answered with my own bomb: "I LOVE YOU JEFFREY!" He stalked up the stairs out of the gym and out the door repeating his "F bombs." I followed him for almost 2 blocks yelling: "I love you Jeffrey!"  I finally said: "Jesus loves you and so do we!" and watched him disappear into the neighborhood. I felt bad, I hurt, I felt guilty and yet I did what was right. 

Jeff came into the gym the very next day. He was apologetic and I think he expected me to just forgive and forget. I told him that because he had carried on after I had asked him to leave that I needed to speak to his Mom before he would be allowed back in. He angrily replied that she was working and he didn't know when she would be done. I then told him what I wanted to say to his Mom: "I am going to tell your Mom that she must be a pretty good Mom because her son is a pretty good boy. I'm glad he comes to our Youth Center. Sometimes we have a beef but we settle it and move on." 

 

Jeff called his Mom and then listened as I said exactly what I said I would. I thanked his Mom for her time and we hung up. Jeff had tears in his eyes just like I do now as I write this. God had given us a teachable moment. Discipline can be hard and it can hurt. Lack of discipline can cause death.

 "Tears can water a young heart and help the heart grow." 

 

Today's Wise Saying is taken from Proverbs 23:13-14 

 

Proverbs 23:13-14

New International Version (NIV)

Saying 13

¹³ Do not withhold discipline from a child;
    if you punish them with the rod, they will not die.
¹⁴ Punish them with the rod
    and save them from death.

Proverbs 23:13-14

The Message (MSG)

^13-14 Don’t be afraid to correct your young ones;
    a spanking won’t kill them.
A good spanking, in fact, might save them
    from something worse than death.

Proverbs 23:13-14

Amplified Bible (AMP)

¹³ Withhold not discipline from the child; for if you strike and punish him with the [reedlike] rod, he will not die.

¹⁴ You shall whip him with the rod and deliver his life from Sheol (Hades, the place of the dead).

Proverbs 23:13-14

King James Version (KJV)

¹³ Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.
¹⁴ Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.

Nobody in their right mind like to enforce discipline on a child. Love is the answer and discipline can be part of the equation that adds up to love. Some parents strive to be their children's friends and this is destructive to the child. Someone who is disciplined has been given instruction in self control and respect for authority.It is harder than ever for many young people to respect authority when they have not had a father as an authority in their lives. They resent the Dad who walked out on them and they resent any male role model who tries to assume that role. Many angry young men have yelled: "You're not my father!"

Here is an awesome description regarding discipline from The Message:

Hebrews 12:7

The Message (MSG)

^{4-11 "}In this all-out match against sin, others have suffered far worse than you, to say nothing of what Jesus went through—all that bloodshed! So don’t feel sorry for yourselves. Or have you forgotten how good parents treat children, and that God regards you as his children?

My dear child, don’t shrug off God’s discipline,
    but don’t be crushed by it either.
It’s the child he loves that he disciplines;
    the child he embraces, he also corrects.

God is educating you; that’s why you must never drop out. He’s treating you as dear children. This trouble you’re in isn’t punishment; it’s training, the normal experience of children. Only irresponsible parents leave children to fend for themselves. Would you prefer an irresponsible God? We respect our own parents for training and not spoiling us, so why not embrace God’s training so we can truly live? While we were children, our parents did what seemed best to them. But God is doing what is best for us, training us to live God’s holy best. At the time, discipline isn’t much fun. It always feels like it’s going against the grain. Later, of course, it pays off handsomely, for it’s the well-trained who find themselves mature in their relationship with God."

Discipline taught early enough can help avoid messes later in life.

Here are today's questions for reflection:

• What does discipline mean to you?
• How do you react to discipline from an authority?
• When you are the authority, do you communicate clearly, the consequences for broken rules?

Thanks for your time. Go do something nice for somebody.
Jesus loves you and so do we.

PRINCESS-less

This is another mountain story about the same mountain, different struggle. This is a story about true words. All of your words are true because you spoke them. Some of our actions are frauds because they don't match our words. If a Dad tells his daughter that he will be there for her birthday and doesn't show up, he's a fraud.

A Dad's words might as well be needles

in his Daughter's heart if  he doesn't "do his words."

 

 "His words are still at his daughter's birthday in the form of a dead weight and a lie."

 

About half way up Algonquin Peak, a young lady told me that her Dad never made her his "Princess." She said he would come, leave a gift and then leave without sharing time. She could care less about his gifts, she wanted to have his time. I wrote these words in my Bible:

 "Princess-less: Any Dad who does not make his daughter into his Princess is Princess-less."

Roxy (gray shirt) appears to be carrying the crew

 on her shoulders on the way up Giant Mountain.

She has a habit of carrying people who need help.

When we reached the top of the mountain, I made some of my customary phone calls bragging about where I was. One of the people I called was a young lady named Roxy. I told her about "Princess-less." It was several weeks later when I realized what fruit had grown from that seed planted through a cell phone on top of a mountain. Roxy wrote a song called" "Princess-less." It was a story about growing up "Dad-less." Her own Dad did the best that he knew how. He's a good man who did not know how to be a good Dad. Like the rest of us, he's getting better with age. I hope my stories will help other young men realize how much fun it is to be a Dad. It's hard, full of mistakes and yet rewarding in an unimaginable way. Roxy's song had a powerful message to Dad's about what a daughter wants in a Dad.

Several weeks after Roxy had written that song, I was asked if Youth With A Purpose could bring some dancers and do the Benediction at a banquet. We have lot's of young people who dance so that was easy. I struggled with the Benediction until I realized that we are to: "Train up a child in the way that they should go." I asked the Director of the event if Roxy could do a musical Benediction which she agreed to. The event was

.

On the day before Father's Day, over 100 men

a daughter tell them what a Dad should be.

called: "A Generation of Men Making a Difference in the Community." Our young people were awesome, especially Roxy. On a day that was reserved to honor men, and on a day before the day reserved to honor father's, a young daughter explained to them: "the way of greater honor." 

  

"Children, teach your parents well!"

 

Today's Wise Saying is taken from Proverbs 23:12.

  Proverbs 23:12

New International Version (NIV)

Saying 12

¹² Apply your heart to instruction
    and your ears to words of knowledge.

Proverbs 23:12

The Message (MSG)

¹² Give yourselves to disciplined instruction;
    open your ears to tested knowledge.

Proverbs 23:12

Amplified Bible (AMP)

¹² Apply your mind to instruction and correction and your ears to words of knowledge.

Proverbs 23:12

King James Version (KJV)

¹² Apply thine heart unto instruction, and thine ears to the words of knowledge.

Young people can be communicators of great instruction. Wise knowledge comes in many forms. In all situations, the primary question could be: "What can I learn from this circumstance." The key word here is: APPLY. 

• Do you apply what you have learned?
• Do you dismiss wisdom because of the source?
• Do you accept instruction and correction?

Thanks for your time. Go do something nice for somebody.

Jesus loves you and so do we.