The Ownership of Cause & Effect

 Chapter Fourteen

The Ownership of Cause & Effect

Ownership carries with it many personal proprietary rights. Control and dominion over something allows you to make powerful decisions. As a Mentor, there are two types of ownership; one you retain, the other you give up.

AID to MENTOR NAVIGATION Part 27

You are not the owner or fixer of another person. Own your own mistakes. Fix yourself by developing new habits. Allow others the freedom to own their own decisions. Let go of the future and guide the present.

 Chris, Marty and Alex were fishing at Boy Scout Camp. It was a perfect day; the sun was bright, the sky was blue and the pond was like glass. Chris was the first boy to cast his worm into the water. He reached back and swung his fishing rod over his head and flung it forward like a pitcher throwing a baseball. His worm and sinker hit the water and the ripples spread out in circles from the impact. Marty duplicated the seemingly perfect cast and both boys leaned back on a log with a smile, waiting for the fish to bite. It was a perfect day. Alex's cast would change everything.

Steve Kuebler was a trophy winning fisherman as a Scout.

 Alex's fishing pole used to be his dad's when he was a kid; it was now over 40 years old. It was not a very good setup. It didn't work 40 years ago and it didn't work now. Alex reared his arm back and cast his sinker, bobber and worm out into the pond. His cast never made it any farther than the length of his arm. The line was knotted and caught on his pole. Instead of going out into the pond, his hook, line and sinker ended up wrapped around Chris and Marty. The worm smacked Chris in the ear. The stillness of the pond was interrupted by the boy's anguished screams of surprise. If there were any fish near them, they were probably laughing.

Chris pulled the worm from his ear and began yelling at Alex. He threw his pole down and yelled: "You ruined a perfect day!" Marty told Chris to stop yelling. He said: "Stop yelling! He's just a little kid and it's not his fault. Here, let me help you Alex." Marty untangled the line and helped the younger boy salvage his fishing pole as best he could. The three boys resumed fishing with each of them landing a few keepers. The day was a success because an older boy showed patience with a youngster.

You have the responsibility of owning your response in any given situation. Marty showed ownership of his response by taking a potentially disastrous situation and patiently causing the event to become a happy lifetime memory. A Mentor does not simply accept any given "cause and effect." A Mentor pauses to examine a cause an determines how to influence the effect.

AID to MENTOR NAVIGATION Part 28

Letting go is not easy for A Mentor. It is natural to want to make choices for the person we are Mentoring. That will totally defeat the purpose of helping somebody become a self sustaining and responsible individual. Sometimes you have to let go.

At Boy Scout Summer Camp, all boys were required to attend Wednesday night religious services. Vespers is generally a spiritual program that is inclusive of different denominations. The focus is on the Scout Oath and Scout Law. Several different services were available and the boys had to choose one. They had a choice. They always grumbled because they would rather be fishing.

Marty complained as usual and asked why he had to go. I told him that he had a choice of which place to go. He did not have to listen while he was at the program but all boys had to be accounted for as part of the program. I told him that if he did choose to listen, that he would hear something worthwhile.

Later that evening he came back to our camp with a new complaint. He said: "The preacher dude said the same thing this year that he said last year!" I replied that was a good thing and he asked why. I told him that he just proved what a good leader he was. He listened last year and he listened this year. He did something that he was uncomfortable doing and that in the process, demonstrated leadership for the younger boys. I told him I was proud of him. He smiled. Marty let go of any resentment and embraced the wisdom of a Mentor. He is already learning how to be a good Mentor.