Murder & A Murderer Mentor

Chapter Fifteen

Murders, Murderers & Scholarship

Abraham Lincoln was a scholar. Many people have become Abraham Lincoln Scholars. They study his life and become knowledgeable and educated experts regarding our 16th President. Your scholarly task as a Mentor is twofold: First you must become knowledgeable regarding your Mentee. Second you must help your Mentee become scholarly in good decision making.

AID to MENTOR NAVIGATION Part 29

By reading the Mentoring Principles set down in ink on these pages, you will learn how to set words of hope into the hearts of people you will Mentor. Your words of encouragement will be indelibly etched upon their hearts. A large part of preparation in Mentoring involves listening with your heart. Communication styles vary and not everyone says what they really mean.

If you tell a friend that you are going to plan a birthday party for them, they will probably tell you they don't want a birthday party. They will reason that you are too busy to plan a party. They might even say they don't like parties. Even if they say: "NO!" - You might still want to plan a party. They really do want a party but they care so much for you that they don't want to add another burden to your life. Listening with your heart will allow you to discern whether you should plan a party or not.

Abraham Lincoln was a scholarly wood cutter who was educated in the fine art of wood cutting. The most important part of his trade was his preparation. He had a secret for productivity and he explained it this way:

"Give me six hours to chop down a tree

and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe."

Lincoln was murdered and his life story became a scholarly pursuit of many folks. The Boy Scout Motto is: "Be Prepared." Your preparation will help you become an educated encourager for the person you are Mentoring. Please be prepared to never give up.

AID to MENTOR NAVIGATION Part 29

One of my best friends was a triple murderer. Let that sink in for a moment. ..........He killed 3 people and they "Didn't even offer any resistance." That's what he told me when we met for the first time.

Jerry Balone had contacted a friend of mine and expressed a desire to reach out to kids in schools about his life story. Pat Mellody told me about Jerry and a little bit about his life in prison. He said that Jerry wanted to speak in schools and help students avoid the hell that he ahead been a part of. I would not let anybody speak on behalf of Youth With A Purpose unless I had spent the time to develop a personal relationship with them. I agreed to meet with Jerry.

We met at the Emerson School of Hospitality which is one of Buffalo's Vocational schools that focus on hospitality and culinary arts. They have a restaurant on West Chippewa Street below the School. It is interesting to note that this school is in an area of Buffalo that used to be called the "Red Light District." Many years ago there were dingy gin mills, topless joints, cheap hotels and porn shops. Prostitution seemed to flourish even if it wasn't legal. Today it is known as a semi respectable entertainment district. Neighborhoods can change their reputation, why not people? I was impressed with everything about Emerson, except maybe its location; there was still a porn shop across the street from the restaurant. The service and food provided by the students were great. It was a very nice atmosphere to have a conversation with a triple murderer.

Jerry was in his late fifties, balding and he could look imposing - especially if you knew his history. People have a way of applying labels to folks based on their history. "TO BE AN EFFECTIVE MENTOR, YOU MUST BELIEVE IN THE BEST FOR EVERY MENTEE YOU MEET." Jerry seemed like a very nice guy on a mission. He told me his life story in a lunch hour time frame. He was abused as a child and he didn't know who his dad was. He spent time in orphanages and reformatories. He was told he was a retard so he didn't go to school. He grew up thinking he was a retard. He grew up trying to survive violence and abuse. Street life safety is dictated by your ability to hurt other people before they hurt you. Detention centers and jail became the primary residences for this young man.

When he was 18 years old, Jerry got out of jail with a friend. He went to a restaurant and somebody "screw faced him." They went outside to "duke it out" and the other guy all of sudden had 6 partners who "beat the crap" out of Jerry. He left the beating and went to find his friend. They got a gun and went looking for the dudes who beat him. He says people ask him: "How could you kill 3 people?" His response was: "We went looking to kill 7." They ended up breaking into a house party and killing 3 people who "didn't even offer any resistance." Jerry's life of sociopathic abuse had led him to a life of hell. He landed in prison. They had just abolished the Death Penalty and he received a 50 year to life sentence. They told him he would never get out of jail ever again. 

For the first 20 years, Jerry lived the same "thug life" that he had lived outside of prison. He was mean and nasty and protected his heart by lashing out at others - it was the only life he knew. He spent most of his prison life identified as a violent felon and he was moved 17 times within the prison system. After 20 years, he was chosen to take part in a "Therapeutic Thinking" program. Jerry began to learn that not everybody is out to hurt you. He learned about compassion and helping people. He learned that you have choices regarding your attitude - Jerry began traveling on the road of redemption. He became a changed man.

They told him that he would never get out of prison no matter how much he changed. He decided to challenge that negativity. He applied for Parole 7 times before he was released. Each time you apply and you are denied, there is a 2 year waiting period before you can reapply. The Parole Board needs to be sure that you are not a danger to society. They finally let him out with many restrictions. He wrote a book about his experience called: "A Former Insider's Guide To Parole." I recommend reading that and his other book called: "Rising From The Ashes." Jerry will not receive any of the proceeds from the sale of these books - he's dead.

Jerry spoke to youthful audiences detailing his crime and remorse for what he did. He doesn't make excuses for the monster that he had become. He wished he could turn back time and change the memory. He wanted to spend his life helping others avoid the hell that he had been through and the hell that he had caused.  He died last year on the day I wrote a check to him for the last speaking engagement he did on behalf of Youth With A Purpose. I still have the check and I have a forever memory etched in my heart by a scholar of life who had been a murderer. 

Jerry Balone receives a community service award in Buffalo, N.Y.on October 16, 2010.

Please never give up on anybody.

Thanks for your time. Go do something nice for somebody.
JLYASDW