Sailing on a Mentoring Relationship

This is Chapter One from a soon to be released book on mentoring.

 Chapter One

Sailing on a Relationship

AID to MENTOR  NAVIGATION Part 1

This first section on Relationship Sailing deals with you. The first Relationship that needs to be seaworthy is you. An anchor in your soul, might snag another ship and bring her down. Begin your voyage by inspecting yourself. You cannot travel as the crow flies; you will need to sail around some obstacles. You may even need to spend some time in a safe harbor prior to setting sail on the Mentoring Seas. Begin with yourself in mind.

Several years ago, a friend gave me a book by James Allen called: "As A Man Thinketh." The basic premise of the book seemed to be : "You are what you think about." I woke up this morning (9-23-13) at 3:33am. Before I went to sleep, I was thinking about this book. I knew I would write Chapter One today. As I lay there in bed (trying to go back to sleep,) I thought about the word "relationship" and what it meant to me. If I'm patient, the path I need to travel on will settle into my heart. Information seems to drop from the sky into my brain. I describe those moments as "God mail." Early this morning, a road-map called: "Luke 5" was dropped into my sleepy awareness. I got up and read Luke 5 and here is what verse 3 says: "And he entered into one of the ships, which was Simon's, and prayed him that he would thrust out a little from the land. And he sat down, and taught the people out of the ship." What a great place to start, entering into a ship, he formed a relationship from which he could teach!

I ended up reading Chapters Five and Six in Luke's Book. Another verse caught my attention, it was the nineteenth verse in Chapter Six: "And the whole multitude sought to touch him: for there went virtue out of him, and healed them all." The word: "virtue" seemed to be highlighted in my thoughts. Here is the definition of virtue:

vir·tue

noun \ˈvər-(ˌ)chü\

: morally good behavior or character: a good and moral quality

: the good result that comes from something

Full Definition of VIRTUE

1a : conformity to a standard of right : morality

b: a particular moral excellence

2: plural: an order of angels, see celestial hierarchy

3: a beneficial quality or power of a thing

4: manly strength or courage: valor

5: a commendable quality or trait :  merit

6: a capacity to act:  potency

7: chastity especially in a woman

— vir·tue·less adjective

— by virtue of or in virtue of

: through the force of : by authority of

"virtue." Merriam-Webster.com. Merriam-Webster, 2013.

Web. 23 September 2013.

Your relationship with yourself begins with virtue. Just so that we are on the same page, I will give you my thoughts on what I believe virtue is. I think we are talking about character here, folks. Who are you at the core of your being? Who are you in the middle of a storm? Who are you when temptations roll in like sea billows? Who are you when somebody needs you? What became a part of my understanding from Luke 6:19 is this: "Healing can flow from the virtue inside of you as a Mentor." You could probably ask yourself this question: "Is my virtue flowing or sinking?

There is another aphorism that seems quite apropos here: "Love your neighbor as yourself." This statement came from a conversation between a student and his Teacher(Mentor.) Here is the question and answer as it was recorded:

"Teacher, which kind of commandment is great and important (the principal kind) in the Law? [Some commandments are light—which are heavy?] And He replied to him, You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind (intellect). This is the great (most important, principal) and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as [you do] yourself. These two commandments sum up and upon them depend all the Law and the Prophets." (Matthew 22:36-40, Amplified Bible.)

Even if you are not a God believer, focus on the part about loving your neighbor as yourself. Your self esteem needs to be sea worthy before you try and float your neighbor's boat. Forming a relationship (understanding) with your inner being is essential before you can begin a healthy relationship with someone else; especially a relationship where you will be Mentoring someone. If your self esteem is adrift in an emotional ocean buffeted by contrary winds, stop and shout "Ahoy!" Draw attention to your plight and ask for help. You are worthy and deserving of all that you were meant to be. You may need to be Mentored before you can become a Mentor. Wisdom is born through study and learning.

AID to MENTOR NAVIGATION Part 2

AHOY! All hands on deck for a very important announcement regarding rules. Listen carefully: "DO NOT GIVE RULES BEFORE RELATIONSHIPS!" If you are ready to begin a Mentoring Relationship, ALWAYS begin with building trust. Rules and boundaries are needed and they must be built on a relational foundation of trust. The rest of the chapters in this volume will deal with the examination of different types of relationships. You should know what type of relationship you will have with your mentee.

Spend lots of time getting to know the person you are Mentoring. Allow them to take the lead in divulging personal information. Do not push for details about their life. If you make them comfortable in trusting you, out of them will flow rivers of appreciation. CAUTION: As an experienced Mentor, I have found that it takes years for wounded people to begin to trust again. There are some young people whom we are still Mentoring after 10 years. Please be patient. If you act like a pirate captain searching for gold at their expense, they will jump overboard. As you listen with your heart, a relationship map will begin to appear, revealing a manifesto for your Mentoring journey.