Convoy of Companionships

Chapter Four

Convoy of Companionships

I told the young man that I was glad that he came to our gym. I loved playing basketball with him. He was a great player and a leader. His companions followed him into the gym. Everyday we had very competitive games and it raised the bar for other people wanting to play ball in our gym. I was a Mentor, he was my Mentee, we were companions on the court at least 5 days a week for several years. One day, I told him that it was time for him to leave. I ended our companionship.

In a few minutes, as you read on, I'll explain why I cut our companionship. First, let's define companionship as the good feeling you have when you are with somebody. Some of those good feelings might be described as: friendship, harmony, affection, brotherhood, familiarity and empathy. A traveling companion is someone you trust and enjoy being with. How will you be a companion as a Mentor?

AID to MENTOR NAVIGATION Part 7

As a Mentor, you need to let the idea settle into your soul that your companionship with your Mentee is temporary. There's no definite time period for how long you will maintain a close relationship with the people you will teach. It's possible that you may travel on a life long journey of companionship. Most Mentors/Teachers spend a limited amount with their student in the grand scope of a life time.

There is clarity in the process of letting go. There is freedom in the process of letting go. We do not want to hurt our friends, so we might be tempted to withhold criticism. Rejection is a fear that causes empathy to erode into apathy. Fear of abandonment causes complacency and acceptance of sub par habits. A true friend and Mentor will speak the truth at the risk of losing the friendship. A true companion will not be complacent and satisfied with mediocrity. True friendship is always on the lookout for a more excellent companionship.

A butterfly has to struggle from its cocoon before it can fly in freedom. The struggle forces fluid into its wings enabling it to become strong enough to break free from its bondage and fly.  You will have to struggle in your role as a Mentor to do what is in the best interests of your pupil. Mentors can be friends but true companions tell the truth. An ancient Proverb says: "Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful." If you are unwilling to risk the companionship because you fear conflict and you don't want to rock the boat, you might as well be an enemy.

This is what I told the young man when I ended our companionship: "I'm glad you are here. I love playing basketball with you but I think it's time for you to stop coming here. It's time to move on. If you keep coming here, all of your companions will keep coming here. It's time for them to grow up. There is more to life than basketball everyday. There is college, a job, a great big world out there just waiting for you guys." He did not appreciate my words. I think they stung him. He admired me and I had hurt him. He left the gym that day and he never came back. That was about 4 years ago. I see him around the neighborhood sometimes and we wave. I will stop and talk to him eventually and ask how he is doing and if I can do anything to help him.

I still struggle with the "Letting Go" part of Mentoring. I soak up other people's sufferings like rain. If you have any degree of compassion or empathy, you will struggle. The first part of being a Captain on a Mentoring Companionship was about letting go. The next lifeboat on the Companionship is plurality or "there is greater safety in numbers."

AID to MENTOR NAVIGATION Part 8

Companionship's that travel in convoys usually have a better chance at survival when entering enemy territory. As the Mentor, you need to reproduce your wisdom in your Mentees. When they are on their own ship without you, will they be able to withstand the contrary winds of temptation? Like-minded companions who truly watch each others backs will be more likely to pause and consider the outcome before making decisions. Here is a good piece of wisdom from Ecclesiastes 4:7-12 in The Message:

"Why Am I Working Like a Dog?

I turned my head and saw yet another wisp of smoke on its way to nothingness: a solitary person, completely alone—no children, no family, no friends—yet working obsessively late into the night, compulsively greedy for more and more, never bothering to ask, “Why am I working like a dog, never having any fun? And who cares?” More smoke. A bad business.

It’s better to have a partner than go it alone.
Share the work, share the wealth.
And if one falls down, the other helps,
But if there’s no one to help, tough!

Two in a bed warm each other.
Alone, you shiver all night.

By yourself you’re unprotected.
With a friend you can face the worst.
Can you round up a third?
A three-stranded rope isn’t easily snapped."

Young people who have been Mentored by someone of good character will most likely have companions of good character. Groups of young people who possess good character are like a Convoy of Companionships sailing on seas of good character.