I felt shock when I heard that the Priest had taken his own life. A man of God who was highly respected by many had decided to commit suicide. How the heck does that happen? Isn't he supposed to be able to defeat the demons of depression? How does somebody cope with the pressures of being a counselor to many?
I've been feeling a heaviness lately that could be called burnout. The cause of the heaviness could also be a result of financial worries. Money doesn't flow into prevention programs, the government would rather fund intervention. It could also be a byproduct of being an empathetic human being who soaks up the pain of others. I think it's all of the above. I am a Youth Director in the heart of a poor and violent City. I watch people suffer and I soak up their sufferings like a tree soaks up rain. I tell prospective volunteers to expect to get your heart broken at least once a week.
In a Buffalo School today, I told the 7th Graders that the heart is a muscle. Your heart must be broken before you are able give more love. I listen to the stories of young people. This is what they told me today when I asked them why a student might come to class in a bad mood: "Their Dad just beat them." "Someone bullied them." "They were molested." Their Mom walked out." "A family member was killed." Everyday I hear these stories and more. Sometimes I see the pain happening in front of me. I have had my hand on the chest of a 15 yr old murder victim as he took his final heart beat. Road trips to cemeteries are too numerous to count. Jail cells hold many broken dreams still cradled in the souls of boys who are not yet men. The pain our children carry is enormous. They do not know how to embrace brokenness. I carry what they cannot embrace. I embrace it for them and carry it with them.
The Priest died in brokenness. He probably embraced brokenness many times before he lost his grip. He carried the burden of being the Brokenness Carrier. He had what may be the highest calling of humanity: he carried other people's crosses along with his own. He got to the point of being alone. He lost his grip on the hand of Jesus. He died alone. The Priest lost the ability to pray with clarity. He staggered to the end of the road where brokenness and loneliness meet at a dead end. Unable to shoulder the burden, unable to cast it upon the shoulders of Jesus, he lost spiritual clarity and ended his life alone. I hurt and my eyes are filled with tears as I think of a wasted end of a valuable life.
How do we avoid the trip that leads to our own dead end? Ask someone for help. Ask someone for help. Ask someone for help. I am not good at that. It's hard for me to ask somebody to pray for me. It's my job to pray for other people. I'm a giver and a lousy receiver. I am guilty of a prideful condition. Pride can lead to carrying unnecessary burdens. God has designed us to have companionship in all areas of our lives. We are not meant to be alone. Pain can be removed by grabbing the hand of Jesus. If your wound or burden is too heavy, reach out for a hand of hope and understanding. Give yourself permission to look your wound straight in the eye. You need to realize that the burden is not you and does not define you. It is temporary and is designed to strengthen you. Embrace brokenness as a blessing that will help you to love in even greater ways. Where will you find the hand of Jesus? In the hand of someone willing to listen and share your burdens.
Thanks for being here and listening. Go do something nice for somebody.
Jesus loves you and so do I.
Bob
I've been feeling a heaviness lately that could be called burnout. The cause of the heaviness could also be a result of financial worries. Money doesn't flow into prevention programs, the government would rather fund intervention. It could also be a byproduct of being an empathetic human being who soaks up the pain of others. I think it's all of the above. I am a Youth Director in the heart of a poor and violent City. I watch people suffer and I soak up their sufferings like a tree soaks up rain. I tell prospective volunteers to expect to get your heart broken at least once a week.
In a Buffalo School today, I told the 7th Graders that the heart is a muscle. Your heart must be broken before you are able give more love. I listen to the stories of young people. This is what they told me today when I asked them why a student might come to class in a bad mood: "Their Dad just beat them." "Someone bullied them." "They were molested." Their Mom walked out." "A family member was killed." Everyday I hear these stories and more. Sometimes I see the pain happening in front of me. I have had my hand on the chest of a 15 yr old murder victim as he took his final heart beat. Road trips to cemeteries are too numerous to count. Jail cells hold many broken dreams still cradled in the souls of boys who are not yet men. The pain our children carry is enormous. They do not know how to embrace brokenness. I carry what they cannot embrace. I embrace it for them and carry it with them.
The Priest died in brokenness. He probably embraced brokenness many times before he lost his grip. He carried the burden of being the Brokenness Carrier. He had what may be the highest calling of humanity: he carried other people's crosses along with his own. He got to the point of being alone. He lost his grip on the hand of Jesus. He died alone. The Priest lost the ability to pray with clarity. He staggered to the end of the road where brokenness and loneliness meet at a dead end. Unable to shoulder the burden, unable to cast it upon the shoulders of Jesus, he lost spiritual clarity and ended his life alone. I hurt and my eyes are filled with tears as I think of a wasted end of a valuable life.
How do we avoid the trip that leads to our own dead end? Ask someone for help. Ask someone for help. Ask someone for help. I am not good at that. It's hard for me to ask somebody to pray for me. It's my job to pray for other people. I'm a giver and a lousy receiver. I am guilty of a prideful condition. Pride can lead to carrying unnecessary burdens. God has designed us to have companionship in all areas of our lives. We are not meant to be alone. Pain can be removed by grabbing the hand of Jesus. If your wound or burden is too heavy, reach out for a hand of hope and understanding. Give yourself permission to look your wound straight in the eye. You need to realize that the burden is not you and does not define you. It is temporary and is designed to strengthen you. Embrace brokenness as a blessing that will help you to love in even greater ways. Where will you find the hand of Jesus? In the hand of someone willing to listen and share your burdens.
Thanks for being here and listening. Go do something nice for somebody.
Jesus loves you and so do I.
Bob
